Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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