My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
