this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
