It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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