I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
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I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
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Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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