i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
