I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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