The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
that is very illegal...i love you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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