Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
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I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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