You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize