You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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