Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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