Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
