ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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