It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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