summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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