Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
