So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Blood and glitter go together right?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
