I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Green mimosas i think yes
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
