just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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