there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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