dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
vagina is talking i cant
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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