so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
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Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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