he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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