she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
