I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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