i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
