I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize