i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
