i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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