How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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