Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
