So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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