Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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