Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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