Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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