you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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