rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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