Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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