Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
