Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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