It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.