I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs