I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize