You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this will be a night to untag.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
