If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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