yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
