you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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