is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
