omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
