i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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