I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
