thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
