in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
