I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
