For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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