Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
