So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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