Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
